Colon Massage Any Advice?

Jan1 wrote:....think there's a Moose - Loose -around this Hoose

Sorry couldn't resist - I can always disappear for the rest of the evening  !

All the best Jan

Here you go Jan

graham64 wrote:

zand wrote:

eddie1 wrote:Zand I am sure you realise the average bloke is a total wimp when it comes to medical examinations, we are 50 whatever going on 13. Girls and women are far more mature just as well, with child bearing and cervical smear tests ect. Blokes have to be half dead before they go to the medics. Unless they are looking for a week off work and a certificate.

Yes, I realise, that's why I'm telling you all the gory details, to scare you all!  

Well as a colonoscopy veteran you don't scare me 

About 14 years ago I had a sigmoidoscopy they found a couple of polyps so I was told they needed to do a colonoscopy to check for more, since then I've been on a three yearly recall I'm due again shortly. The actual procedure is not to bad it's the prep with the picolax that is the worst part.

I'll not go into any further detail about the effects of picolax just in case Dillinger's about

That Picolax prep stuff is the devils urine indeed-2 split dose sachets of supposedly 'citrus' flavoured bowel prep laxative which tastes so sickly I had to stop myself gagging drinking them which was made worse when combined with the 'Clear food diet' the day before the tests and boy! when that stuff kicks in it's 24 hours of living on the Kahzee where you could sh*t through the eye of a needle and so as fellow members of the Picolax club-I suggest we should consign that venom to 'Room 101' !

You musta seen the picoax thread?

Andy12345 wrote:You musta seen the picoax thread?

Picolax thread? That evil stuff has a whole thread devoted to it somewhere?

Here it is :
http://singletrackworld.com/2009/02/the-picolax-thread-returns/

yessss Two Collies, Thankyou!

lol I'm glad it isn't just me that thinks that stuff is the pimp daddy of ALL laxatives! A chicken Phaal has nothing on this stuff!

Paul wrote:lol I'm glad it isn't just me that thinks that stuff is the pimp daddy of ALL laxatives! A chicken Phaal has nothing on this stuff!

It certainly is! That Picolax thread is the best thread ever! Everything that guy says about it is true, but boy does he make a fuss about the colonoscopy!

eddie1 wrote:

No disrespect, but I am worried about this Stefan, are his intentions honourable, only saying.

I had another chat with Stefan last night over dinner that he kindly brought. We went to his room afterwards for a late night glass of Sherry and he showed me his diplomas.

He was planning abdominal massage like what Paul mentioned and a coffee enema.

He has got a wife that still lives in Poland, she coming here early next year. Although she looks a bit like a Olympian discus thrower, I don't think he gay. To be honest does it really matter if he was; how many male therapists and male nurse in this country bat for the otherside.

Also I don't think his intentions are dishonourable. Besides he comes across professional and seems to be qualified.

But with that said if he tries anything untoward I can always give him a fisting and brain him with the sherry bottle.

Question is are his qualifications (diplomas) relevant in this country and would you let him treat you.

Have to admit I do suffer from constipation on a regular bases and IBS. So this could help.

Moose

Moose wrote:

eddie1 wrote:

No disrespect, but I am worried about this Stefan, are his intentions honourable, only saying.

I had another chat with Stefan last night over dinner that he kindly brought. We went to his room afterwards for a late night glass of Sherry and he showed me his diplomas.

He was planning abdominal massage like what Paul mentioned and a coffee enema.

He has got a wife that still lives in Poland, she coming here early next year. Although she looks a bit like a Olympian discus thrower, I don't think he gay. To be honest does it really matter if he was; how many male therapists and male nurse in this country bat for the otherside.

Also I don't think his intentions are dishonourable. Besides he comes across professional and seems to be qualified.

But with that said if he tries anything untoward I can always give him a fisting and brain him with the sherry bottle.

Question is are his qualifications (diplomas) relevant in this country and would you let him treat you.

Have to admit I do suffer from constipation on a regular bases and IBS. So this could help.

Moose

Well if I were you, I would stay away from any Polish guy called Stefan.

zand wrote:
Well if I were you, I would stay away from any Polish guy called Stefan.

So that the first vote for the no camp.

Moose

Moose wrote:

zand wrote:
Well if I were you, I would stay away from any Polish guy called Stefan.

So that the first vote for the no camp.

Moose

Well yes, but I'm a bit biased so I don't know if it counts really.

Moose wrote:

eddie1 wrote:

No disrespect, but I am worried about this Stefan, are his intentions honourable, only saying.

I had another chat with Stefan last night over dinner that he kindly brought. We went to his room afterwards for a late night glass of Sherry and he showed me his diplomas.

He was planning abdominal massage like what Paul mentioned and a coffee enema.

He has got a wife that still lives in Poland, she coming here early next year. Although she looks a bit like a Olympian discus thrower, I don't think he gay. To be honest does it really matter if he was; how many male therapists and male nurse in this country bat for the otherside.

Also I don't think his intentions are dishonourable. Besides he comes across professional and seems to be qualified.

But with that said if he tries anything untoward I can always give him a fisting and brain him with the sherry bottle.

Question is are his qualifications (diplomas) relevant in this country and would you let him treat you.

Have to admit I do suffer from constipation on a regular bases and IBS. So this could help.

Moose

I'd say go for it and let us know how you get on ! No pain no gain eh :-)

Moose wrote:

eddie1 wrote:

No disrespect, but I am worried about this Stefan, are his intentions honourable, only saying.

But with that said if he tries anything untoward I can always give him a fisting and brain him with the sherry bottle.


Moose

Perhaps that could have been phrased better Given this lot's minds!

Moose wrote:
Question is are his qualifications (diplomas) relevant in this country and would you let him treat you.
Moose

IMHO if he is qualified and can do the job, he can do the job!

Two Collies wrote:

Moose wrote:

eddie1 wrote:

No disrespect, but I am worried about this Stefan, are his intentions honourable, only saying.

But with that said if he tries anything untoward I can always give him a fisting and brain him with the sherry bottle.


Moose

Perhaps that could have been phrased better Given this lot's minds!

Moose wrote:
Question is are his qualifications (diplomas) relevant in this country and would you let him treat you.
Moose

IMHO if he is qualified and can do the job, he can do the job!

Laughing too much to type a proper reply to this

Well this Sunday I'm going to let Stefan loose on me, so I will keep you updated. I'm trying to get him to join this forum as although he's not diabetic he has a interesting take on diabetes management based on East European recommendations.

Mooose

Good luck and it could turn out to be a positive experience as Stefan could be very good at what he does.

Best wishes

Paul

Paul wrote:Good luck and it could turn out to be a positive experience as Stefan could be very good at what he does.

Best wishes

Paul

Depends on what your idea is of a positive experience is I reckon, one thing's for sure, it will be "an experience"

eddie1 wrote:

Paul wrote:Good luck and it could turn out to be a positive experience as Stefan could be very good at what he does.

Best wishes

Paul

Depends on what your idea is of a positive experience is I reckon, one thing's for sure, it will be "an experience"

I guess one man's pleasure is another mans pain eddie and horses for courses and all that but one things for sure...I hope to never have anything enter my 'Chocolate Starfish' EVER again!

Your not seriously considering letting your neighbour Stefan near your "chocolate star fish" are you? I was in agony with my kidney stones recently and this dude wanted to stick a pill up there, I was in too much pain to be polite, I can't repeat what I said.

......off topic but I've noticed the changed avatar Paul

All the best Jan

Yes Paul that's a very good avatar.....better than the last one

lol I thought I'd change my Avatars on a rolling basis to remind 'Certain' people 'Elsewhere' that I may be 'gone' elsewhere but I'm still very much around and still watching!

Paul wrote:lol I thought I'd change my Avatars on a rolling basis to remind 'Certain' people 'Elsewhere' that I may be 'gone' elsewhere but I'm still very much around and still watching!

+1 lol

I have spent serious money getting the Bonkers one out of my head and you bring him back over here. How do you fire a mod on this forum?