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How businesses work or don’t work, has fascinated me from an early age. In a nutshell, for a business to work, you have to have a viable business model. All the hard work and money in the world, won’t turn a dead duck into a soaring eagle. I have looked at countless business models and ideas. By far and above the finest business model I have ever seen, ever created, is the diabetes, big pharma, junk food and dietary information business. The money and profits it creates is incalculable.
The business model junk food
First you create very cheap to make, highly profitable, highly processed carbohydrate foods with a very long shelf life. Will people eat this crap? True, some may have their doubts, not a problem, almost all will be fooled. But how will they be fooled? That’s an easy question to answer. By paying only a fraction of your profits, to easily swayed boffins. They will come up with so much scientifically sounding mumbo jumbo, for the right amount of money, even a team of world class lawyers would be confused. Sponsoring dietetic associations and high profile dietitians is also money well spent, in fact it’s a must if you want to fool most of the people, most of the time. Let’s face it, people “Trust A Dietitian” yes? A great plan eh, we all know it works, yes.
So, you have the masses eating this high sugar highly processed gruel, the money counting is a full time job. The next stage of the cunning plan. The really clever buggers have known almost from the start, this junk eating is going to go pear shaped big time in the future. Oh dear, ah well, let’s take the money while it lasts. It was good while it lasted, but all good things come to an end yes? No, you remember you have paid the mainstream media $billions in advertising fees over the years, time to call in a few favours. Time to point the finger of blame on the great unwashed. The media hacks do what they are told, even these dullards are not about to blow their brains out with the truth. So, day after day, wherever you look articles blaming these victims appears. They're such an easy target, everyone knows they all sit around watching daytime TV stuffing their faces with donuts and takeaways. Yeah, great idea, they all bring it on themselves. Yeah, no easier target than the fat man or woman, lazy bastards deserve all they get.
The business model big pharma
You realise your junk food business, apart from being a complete catastrophe, for millions upon millions of people, is the best news you ever had. Being extremely shrewd, you start piling your massive profits into pharmaceutical companies. You realise the profit from your junk food division, was mere petty cash, compared to flogging drugs, that usually don’t work, indeed you work out, you can sell even more drugs, to counteract the damage being caused by the err..drugs. Bring out the Krug Champagne, order another yacht, by jingo, you're the finest business brain in the history of the world.
The business model the medical profession
After sobering up, it dawns on you, the medical professionals are not as dumb as the average punter on the street. Granted, the dietetic associations and the on payroll boffins fooled the masses, but how do you get the medics on board? Well, much to your surprise you learn most Doctors have little if any training in nutrition. Most are so overworked, dealing with a multitude of complex medical conditions, diet is not their main priority. Indeed, few have the time to keep up with the monumental amount of information published by big pharma. Some do have the time, they even have the time, to be flown out first class to a five star hotel in the Caribbean. They find the time to speak at all sorts of conventions, on your behalf, for a fat fee. You quickly learn, bunging these medics a few hundred thousand dollars, every now and again (for research work you understand) on your wonderful drugs, is a sure fire winner. What the hell if you get caught, and end up paying $billions for bribery and corruption, falsifying drug trial results and killing people. No one goes to prison right, and all you have to do is up the price of your drugs (i.e. the punters pay) and the dosh is back in your pocket in no time.
So, everyone is a winner. Junk food, big pharma, the medics, even the Government love all that corporation tax coming in. UK MP's can be bought for next to nothing in the big scheme, this they call lobbying, sounds so much better than bribery and corruption don't you think. As Joseph Stalin said "When one dies, it is a tragedy. When a million die, it is a statistic" With around 400 million diabetics in the world, that's one hell of a profitable business.
