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Migrant small UK workers at the North Pole where stunned this morning to find they had all been sacked. It had been the biggest Christmas ever, 3 solid months of making toys for the good boys and girls and double the amount for the rich kids. The elves at the North Pole were expecting a bonus, but what UKIP leaning Santa gave them instead, was a financial kick in the teeth. They would only have jobs in the new year if they signed zero-hour contracts.
One elf, Keith, said to Santa, “there isn’t any other work at the North Pole, what do you expect me to do?”. Santa apparently replied, “my generosity has made you dependent. You do sod all most of the year. OK, you nip down to Sainsbury’s for me and pick up the odd prescription, but that’s it until September. It’s time for you to stand on your own two small feet in January or starve in the snow, I don’t care which. If you don’t like it, you can f**k off back to Peterborough, Keith, and take that Jeremy Corbyn loving mate of yours, Darren, with you!”.
Supervisor elf Barbara, was in a more militant mood, “Silly old git! Just wait until he wants someone to put the bins out first week in January and we’re on strike. That will show him. I’ve had a quiet word with the Reindeer and they are thinking about secondary action as well. I just hope he doesn’t bus some scab agency elves in like Amazon would do”.
We asked Santa why he has done this to the elves, he said, “Look, I have this toy making contract for life, I have my own place and now I want to buy a couple buy-to-let hovels, so I can sit on my arse and hire someone else to climb down chimneys. The only way I’m going to do that, is to ruthlessly exploit the elves just like that bloke who owns Sports Direct does with his staff. Forget Working Tax Credits, you just wait until Iain Duncan Smith puts those little shits on Universal Credit, they’ll be happy to work for food and lodgings then, just like a real workhouse!”.
http://thespoonfed.news/tory-santa-puts-elves-on-zero-hour-contracts-in-2016/
One elf, Keith, said to Santa, “there isn’t any other work at the North Pole, what do you expect me to do?”. Santa apparently replied, “my generosity has made you dependent. You do sod all most of the year. OK, you nip down to Sainsbury’s for me and pick up the odd prescription, but that’s it until September. It’s time for you to stand on your own two small feet in January or starve in the snow, I don’t care which. If you don’t like it, you can f**k off back to Peterborough, Keith, and take that Jeremy Corbyn loving mate of yours, Darren, with you!”.
Supervisor elf Barbara, was in a more militant mood, “Silly old git! Just wait until he wants someone to put the bins out first week in January and we’re on strike. That will show him. I’ve had a quiet word with the Reindeer and they are thinking about secondary action as well. I just hope he doesn’t bus some scab agency elves in like Amazon would do”.
We asked Santa why he has done this to the elves, he said, “Look, I have this toy making contract for life, I have my own place and now I want to buy a couple buy-to-let hovels, so I can sit on my arse and hire someone else to climb down chimneys. The only way I’m going to do that, is to ruthlessly exploit the elves just like that bloke who owns Sports Direct does with his staff. Forget Working Tax Credits, you just wait until Iain Duncan Smith puts those little shits on Universal Credit, they’ll be happy to work for food and lodgings then, just like a real workhouse!”.
http://thespoonfed.news/tory-santa-puts-elves-on-zero-hour-contracts-in-2016/
