Mother Would Have Been 100 Today

if she hadn't died nearly five years ago.

In the past we were pretty much guaranteed good weather for her birthday. I/we used to take her to one of her favourite places, mainly on the South Downs, or the coast, or sometimes to the New Forest.

After we moved here her standard birthday surprise was to visit the fish restaurant in Orford, followed by a walk along the sea wall. Then we would have tea with my aunts and uncle (actually her cousins) in a nearby village, and end up with a walk along the estuary at Iken.

Back in the eighties we could walk all the way along the sea wall as far as a farm track, then back up the lane into the village.

After she passed 90, the walks became ever shorter. At 94 she could just make it up onto the sea wall.

By the time she was 95 her walking abilities were severely compromised, so we took her to the Ramsholt Arms where she could sit out on the terrace overlookig the estuary.

My plan for today, based on the weather forecast, was to have lunch at the restaurant then do the sea wall walk and scatter some of her ashes that I was keeping for the occasion. After my thyroid blew up and my BP went through the roof last winter I'm not sure how far I could have gone, so far my walking abilities have mostly returned, but I was intending to try the full circuit.

However soon after a fine morning it clouded over and became so gloomy it looked like rain, so I abandoned the plan. Anyway I appear to have overshopped for the week - I still have loads of beef mince, chicken breat and mackerel, crevettes and half an avocado, and the alternating rain and sun had finally kicked my runner beans into full scale production - PLUS I just bought the first Brussels sprouts of the season.

Not only that but the weeds and spring flowers that I had just cut down/pulled up in the garden were regrowing like crazy, and the lawn has been growing so fast you could almost hear it.

So I decided to stay home and blitz the garden again (she would have approved) I got most of it done except the lawn which was still a tad damp, I'll do that tomorrow.

Of course as soon as the restaurant was closed the sun came out . . .

IME a walk always works better the day afer gardening rather than the day before, perhaps I'll try again tomorrow. Unless the weatherpersons have been lying again, of course.

(I ate the sprouts with a small portion of rice and a bolognese-type sauce)

Chris, I remember back in the early days how much you respected and loved your Mother. Graham was the same, he lost his Mother awhile ago and she was in her nineties. My Mother died young a great shame. Grief is the price we pay for love, we can't have it any other way.

... what a lovely post Chris.
Mothers are such special people.

From what you say I'm sure your mum would have approved of how you spent your day.


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I love Brussels sprouts with Roast Chicken or Turkey.

All the best Jan

Lovely post Chris and especially poignant for me as my mother sadly passed away this morning .It was expected but still doesn't make it easy .So, to mothers everywhere, I will raise a gin & tonic ( my mums favourite ) to you all tonight.

mo1905 wrote:Lovely post Chris and especially poignant for me as my mother sadly passed away this morning .It was expected but still doesn't make it easy .So, to mothers everywhere, I will raise a gin & tonic ( my mums favourite ) to you all tonight.

Oh Mo, I'm really sorry to hear this. I agree it's still a shock even when it's expected. Both my parents died in June 1996 aged 78 and I still miss them. Like your Mum, my Mum's death was expected, but my Dad's wasn't.

Big hugs

Very sorry to hear of your great loss Mo. All the best to you and your family over the coming days and weeks.

Eddie and Jan

I'm so sorry Mo! My mum was in her thirties and me a little boy when she died but not a day goes by when I don't think of her-My mum liked a gin and tonic too Mo so I'll raise one as well to all the much missed mothers of ours!

mo1905 wrote:Lovely post Chris and especially poignant for me as my mother sadly passed away this morning .It was expected but still doesn't make it easy .So, to mothers everywhere, I will raise a gin & tonic ( my mums favourite ) to you all tonight.

Oh I'm so sorry. Yes as someone once said to me "she's the only mother you'll ever have".

Today the weather was much better so I half carried out my plan. I'd forgotten that when I was employed if I couldn't get the day off we'd celebrate the following weekend and call it her Official Birthday, on the basis that what was good enough for the Queen was good enough for her. So today was her Official Birthday.

I walked down the farm track from the lane and scattered some ashes in a few places. I could see a flock of birds doing aerobatics in the distance, but by the time I got close they'd parked up and only their heads were visible popping up from the grass.

I sat for a while, and chatted to a few people who passed by, then walked about halfway to the village. I was pleasantly surprised how far I went without having to slow down let alone stop, I don't know what caused my thyroid to blow up nine months ago, which put my BP through the roof, but I'm not afraid to take drugs when they are necessary, only when they are used as an antidote to crap dietary recommendations. They appear to have put my thyroid back into normal range, and BP meds have improved that also. Either the plaque in my arteries has improved significantly or the blood clot has dissolved, last winter it looked likely I would lose a toe if not the entire leg.

Anyway I decided to walk back the way I'd come. Some passing boats had failed to put up the waders but a buzzard flew over and that did the trick, there must have been about 150 Golden Plovers which wheeled and turned above my head and flew back and forth from the island to the farmland and back.

When I got home I still had enough energy to mow the lawn.

Let's see now, I had breakfast around 11, a handful of nuts when I got back around 6, before I mowed the lawn, then I had a chicken and mushroom curry very similar to the one on the blog shortly before 8. Now I think I'll crash out for a while.

Chris I know you love being out in the countryside. I think you will love this short video. I can't embed it here but take a look at my little sanctuary. Enjoy.

http://solentsearcher.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/matt-hayes-and-mick-brown-one-of-best.html

@mo1905 

So sorry to hear about your loss Mo, my mum passed away nearly two years ago I know what your going through, condolences to you and your family

Sorry to hear Chris your mum obviously meant a great deal to you. Mothers should be your most supportive, and so often is, trusted friend.

Eddie wrote:Chris I know you love being out in the countryside. I think you will love this short video. I can't embed it here but take a look at my little sanctuary. Enjoy.

http://solentsearcher.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/matt-hayes-and-mick-brown-one-of-best.html

Oh that was stunning! I forgot to mention the incredible light over the estuary, I wish I'd taken my photographic gear. One of the people I met was blasting away with her camera like there was no tomorrow.

Yes when I was little my old man used to take us fishing. Mother and I would often leave him there and go for a walk. Over time he started leaving the fishing gear at home and just coming on the walks with us, pointing out the birds.

She was Good People (imagine the Queen Mother, only tiny!) around the time she died I also lost a bunch of other Good People, friends, neighbours and relatives thereof. One was only 23 and another 51 (both cancer), one was early seventies (MS) and another in her seventies got Alzheimers and had to go into a home. At least most of the others were in their eighties and nineties, in total I probably lost more than a person-millennium. Some days there were more ambulances than buses going by. One neighbour lost his father just before Christmas, and when he went to visit his mother on Mother's Day he found her corpse. One of the few to die at home. I do NOT recommend an NHS death.

Just be careful out there!

My mum came from the same generation Chris she died aged 97 two years ago, I still have an auntie 95 and uncle 93 still with us. Now it's the turn of my generation I've lost a few good friends and relatives over last few years

Sympathies! Yes in a way I'm glad I'm not likely to survive into old age, it isn't very pleasant. When mine went there were more dead people than live ones in her address book.

I remember some poignant conversations she had with an old friend before she had to go into a home, and with my aunts (actually her cousins) about how you never know when was the  last time ever that you did something, like ride a bike or swim in the sea.

Once she made me promise that if she got too bad I should take her to Overstrand where she visited relatives when she was young, and leave her to walk up and down the path to the beach until she expired. I might try that.