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"When soldiers have been baptised in the fire of a Battenberg, they have all one rank in my eyes." ~Napoleon Bonaparte
From the memoires of Roger 'Keto Warrior' Jenkins
Monty finally proved his 'pro-active' mettle in August 1997, with his participation in our daring broad daylight assault on the Mr Kipling's Cakes factory, near Smethwick. To the rest of the world, Mr Kipling was a loveable old man, spending his twilight years selflessly baking cakes for the good of humanity. To us militant low-carbers, however, he was the evil mastermind behind a thousand glycemic excursions.
Armed with only a makeshift flame thrower, some industrial-strength fireworks and an awful lot of furious anger, we successfully halted cake production for several hours. I then, perhaps somewhat inevitably, set my own beard alight. Monty, spooked by my new 'flame-grilled' look, ran away; leaving me to suffer the agony of having a van load of policemen extinguish my burning beard using only truncheons and pepper spray.
From the memoires of Roger 'Keto Warrior' Jenkins
Monty finally proved his 'pro-active' mettle in August 1997, with his participation in our daring broad daylight assault on the Mr Kipling's Cakes factory, near Smethwick. To the rest of the world, Mr Kipling was a loveable old man, spending his twilight years selflessly baking cakes for the good of humanity. To us militant low-carbers, however, he was the evil mastermind behind a thousand glycemic excursions.
Armed with only a makeshift flame thrower, some industrial-strength fireworks and an awful lot of furious anger, we successfully halted cake production for several hours. I then, perhaps somewhat inevitably, set my own beard alight. Monty, spooked by my new 'flame-grilled' look, ran away; leaving me to suffer the agony of having a van load of policemen extinguish my burning beard using only truncheons and pepper spray.
