Forum PM systems

Good call! I for one don't want to see a PM system here because of the serious risk of abuse that you outlined above.

I don't think we need a PM system. If there is something that can't be posted on a forum, it's possibly not totally necessary. As others have mentioned, it's also open to abuse.

On the subject of forum features I was thinking "Do we need to add a 'Report post' button'." personally I'm not sure if we do as that can also be open to abuse and I feel that if a post has genuinely upset someone enough for one reason or another then maybe replying to the offending post openly with "I object for 'Add reason'." might be a more transparent way of doing things as sometimes it's simply a misunderstanding that could easily be explained by the author of the post in question-of course,if it's a post that breaches the forum rules(We don't have many-just common sense really) then myself or Mo would of course intervene.

This is such early days for your new forum ....
It feels very different , of course it is ....
Calmer and more gentle ....
May be you could just keep accessing as the site develops ....

I agree. A PM system has its merits but is wide open to abuse.

I've been thinking about this. The only reason I would want a PM system would be to maybe exchange email addresses with a friend. I was really glad of the facility which enabled me to swap addresses with a friend before she left another forum a while back and we still contact each other every week or so. I wouldn't want those details to be seen publicly, but of course exchanging emails is also the main way where abuse can happen, so it's possibly irresponsible to allow it. It's hard to get the balance between freedom and protection right sometimes.

Re the report button, I like what Paul said about openly responding to the post which caused offence. Often it is a misunderstanding and it's good to let the 'offender' have the chance to explain what they really meant.

I think they're useful overall. As Zand says you might want to exchange emails or just carry on a conversation that has gone OT on the main thread. You can always choose not to receive them as an individual member.

Who knows, one day someone might come along and invite you to a new forum!   

sanguine wrote:I think they're useful overall.  As Zand says you might want to exchange emails or just carry on a conversation that has gone OT on the main thread.  You can always choose not to receive them as an individual member.

Who knows, one day someone might come along and invite you to a new forum!   

Yes and a 'like' button would have saved me replying to this comment to say that I like it! (But I do see the reasoning behind not having them)

Mixed feelings about it all. I have found the pm system invaluable. Some topics are quite sensitive so you might want to have a private chat. I can see how it can be open to abuse. On the other forum, I am currently in a chat session with 5 other members and we talk about all kinds of girlie stuff that nobody else would want to read. Some of the stuff is quite sensitive so we might not want to share but non of it is about other members. Presumably we are therefore using the pm system as it was intended. No issue with a like button. Can't see why there can't be one.

I have had a think , and I
believe it would be nice for all on the forum to swap private information if they wished to via a pm system ...some times an email which others have mentioned ...

Yes I have found this valuable on others forums , not just diabetic discussions ....
I met some great people who helped with family history research for example ....and building up friends was invaluable ....  

Kat100 wrote:I have had a think , and I
believe it would be nice for all on the forum to swap private information if they wished to via a pm system ...some times an email which others have mentioned ...

Yes I have found this valuable on others forums , not just diabetic discussions ....
I met some great people who helped with family history research for example ....and building up friends was invaluable ....  

When a member joins they do so giving an email address. These email addresses are stored and accessible by the forum Admin. If a member wants to contact another member they can email lowcarbdiabetic@aol.com asking for their email address be forwarded to a member of their choice. Once we have received permission from the targeted email member we will exchange email addresses. In doing so both parties take full responsibility for their requests. This forum cannot be responsible for any negative consequences that may ensue whatsoever.

As said previously PM’s can be read by Administrators and Mods who have been given the required access levels. Being accused of reading members private messages or leaving members open to abuse and manipulation is not an area we want to go.

mine is andyfennell@btinternet.com if anyone wants to send my kinky pictures, or anything else, but the pics would be best

Admin wrote:

Kat100 wrote:I have had a think , and I
believe it would be nice for all on the forum to swap private information if they wished to via a pm system ...some times an email which others have mentioned ...

Yes I have found this valuable on others forums , not just diabetic discussions ....
I met some great people who helped with family history research for example ....and building up friends was invaluable ....  

When a member joins they do so giving an email address. These email addresses are stored and accessible by the forum Admin. If a member wants to contact another member they can email lowcarbdiabetic@aol.com asking for their email address be forwarded to a member of their choice. Once we have received permission from the targeted email member we will exchange email addresses. In doing so both parties take full responsibility for their requests. This forum cannot be responsible for any negative consequences that may ensue whatsoever.

As said previously PM’s can be read by Administrators and Mods who have been given the required access levels. Being accused of reading members private messages or leaving members open to abuse and manipulation is not an area we want to go.

That is really nice to know , that people can exchange email addresses..
I think for most people email exchange is often the best option ...it allows freedom of choice as well ....
I agree , no not a nice issue to deal with , with regards to private messages bring read etc ....I had not read the information about emails being accessible by request ....thanks for that ....Kat

I've started using the pm system on another forum quite recently - and I'm amazed by the difference it has made.

It has allowed me to query a couple of posts in a low key non-confrontational way, that I felt was really positive.

It has allowed me to thank a couple of people privately.

It has allowed me to have private, personal conversations with other forumites which none of us wished to make public.

I respect the arguments for the downsides of pming, but I would prefer if it was available here.

Maybe it's a female thing.

Brunneria wrote:I've started using the pm system on another forum quite recently - and I'm amazed by the difference it has made.

It has allowed me to query a couple of posts in a low key non-confrontational way, that I felt was really positive.

It has allowed me to thank a couple of people privately.

It has allowed me to have private, personal conversations with other forumites which none of us wished to make public.

I respect the arguments for the downsides of pming, but I would prefer if it was available he

Maybe it's a female thing.

I am female and yes it is my thing as well ... 
I have found a pm system a very positive tool
And I have not had to go through another system to use it ...I would not like that ....
I would not really like to ask permission....via a third person.
I would not be on this site if I had not been alerted to it in a private way
I see it and a positive tool.

I agree with the admin post to be honest. I do agree that certain members find it useful to be able to communicate with each other in private and that's fine. If you both agree, contact admin and we will provide email addresses. This only needs to be done once so it's not like asking for permission each time you want to contact that person. I think this is a fair compromise whilst still protecting members who have no wish to be contacted.

Isn't there a profile/settings option that allows individuals to choose whether or not they can receive PMs though?

sanguine wrote:Isn't there a profile/settings option that allows individuals to choose whether or not they can receive PMs though?

To be honest Rod, I'm not sure ! IT is not my thing and my account is slightly different to yours as I have moderator rights. I can't find a button for it though !

I guess it would only be there if PMs were enabled in principle - maybe. But it's not a life-threatening issue, especially on a bank holiday!

It's still early days. Ultimately, if all the members want a PM system, we'd be silly not to look into it but as you rightly say, it's not a deal breaker for now.

I think all points made are valid ....
Maybe continuous assessment for now in the early days ...
Who knows what you may develop.
Best wishes ...Kat

I have no problem to a PM system you can chose who will send messages and l send info l either don't want on a public site or for instance my email or phone number or a conversation about unrelated matters to the site (ie at the moment our SA holiday tons of info going back and forwards)
I have to admit never having had an abusive pm (no doubt will now) but that's off a LOT of forums inducing ones l ran for others or owned

l also think the mods and admin should be available for private help if something is bothering better to deal quietly than splat it all over the screen and make things worse or to scared and leave the forum.

So l think that puts me in the disagree about PM system not being around... and nothing l have read convinces me it is bad.

Oh and forgot to add usually the choosing/accept/deny system will come up on the setup once done not before hand.

Thanks MUD, as I said before, if most members want it, we can look into it. Hopefully others will leave their opinion here and we can make a decision further down the line.