The Low Carb Diabetic

Promoting a low carb high fat lifestyle for the safe control of diabetes. Eat whole fresh food, more drugs are not the answer.


Welcome to the Low Carb Diabetic forum,have you signed up yet? if not then sign up and join us in the low carb community today!

    This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Share
    avatar
    chris c
    Member

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Posts : 3257
    Join date : 2015-07-26

    This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by chris c on Tue Sep 15 2015, 19:11

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3235414/I-m-probably-bigger-started-shaping-Chloe-Madeley-eager-lose-weight-feeling-insecure-size-10-figure.html#v-3866520298001

    Like the old news item about mulberry trees where the presenter stated there was a huge mulberry tree at Hampton Court but "it wasn't as big as the Queen's bush"
    avatar
    Paul1976
    Moderator

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Male Posts : 2433
    Join date : 2014-08-12
    Age : 41
    Location : East midlands,UK

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by Paul1976 on Tue Sep 15 2015, 19:40

    chris c wrote:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3235414/I-m-probably-bigger-started-shaping-Chloe-Madeley-eager-lose-weight-feeling-insecure-size-10-figure.html#v-3866520298001

    Like the old news item about mulberry trees where the presenter stated there was a huge mulberry tree at Hampton Court but "it wasn't as big as the Queen's bush"

    Oooops!! mrgreen
    avatar
    chris c
    Member

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Posts : 3257
    Join date : 2015-07-26

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by chris c on Thu Sep 17 2015, 20:33

    Richie Benaud (I think) must have waited ages before he could say

    "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willie"

    My old man told me of one, back in the day of the Home Service when the newsreader with the typical cut glass accent said

    "The thieves escaped in a fast car"

    he presumably pressed the mute key which didn't work because he was heard to exclaim

    "Well they'd be bloody fools if they used a slow one!"
    avatar
    Eddie
    Member

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Male Posts : 3757
    Join date : 2014-08-13
    Age : 67
    Location : London

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by Eddie on Thu Sep 17 2015, 21:03

    Top 9 Comments made by commentators at the 2004 Olympics

    Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators  during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

    1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw
    her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

    2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak
    from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

    3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother
    and father."

    4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths
    in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

    5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we
    can expect the same thing again."

    6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
    like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

    7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the
    IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

    8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've
    got eleven Dicks on the field."

    9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is
    that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
    them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

    Here are more excellent accidental jokes from sports commentators:
    bit.ly MMiYBa


    _________________
    Type two diabetic-low carb diet (50 carbs per day) and two 500mg Metformin pills per day. Apart from diagnosis HbA1c almost 12-all HbA1c results none diabetic. For over eight years my diabetes medication has not changed. My weight has remained stable, I have suffered no ill effects from my diet whatsoever. Every blood test has proved, I took the right road to my diabetic salvation. For almost seven years, I have asked medical professionals and naysayers, how do I maintain non diabetic BG levels on two Metformin other than low carb ? The silence has been deafening !
    avatar
    Paul1976
    Moderator

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Male Posts : 2433
    Join date : 2014-08-12
    Age : 41
    Location : East midlands,UK

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by Paul1976 on Thu Sep 17 2015, 21:11

    Eddie wrote:Top 9 Comments made by commentators at the 2004 Olympics

    Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators  during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

    1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw
    her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

    2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak
    from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

    3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother
    and father."

    4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths
    in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

    5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we
    can expect the same thing again."

    6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
    like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

    7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the
    IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

    8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've
    got eleven Dicks on the field."

    9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is
    that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
    them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

    Here are more excellent accidental jokes from sports commentators:
    bit.ly MMiYBa

    LOL!!! Twisted Evil

    BTW...Anyone heard of any new Prince Phillip gaffes? I love those! Very Happy

    I remember this old one well!

    The Duke on speaking to a driving examiner in Glasgow..."How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?" rofl
    avatar
    Eddie
    Member

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Male Posts : 3757
    Join date : 2014-08-13
    Age : 67
    Location : London

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by Eddie on Thu Sep 17 2015, 21:18

    The Duke was visiting a school for the deaf, the kids were dancing in perfect time to load music from vibrations from the floor. The Duke said Christ no wonder they're all deaf with the volume you're playing that music.

    The Duke is not amused.



    _________________
    Type two diabetic-low carb diet (50 carbs per day) and two 500mg Metformin pills per day. Apart from diagnosis HbA1c almost 12-all HbA1c results none diabetic. For over eight years my diabetes medication has not changed. My weight has remained stable, I have suffered no ill effects from my diet whatsoever. Every blood test has proved, I took the right road to my diabetic salvation. For almost seven years, I have asked medical professionals and naysayers, how do I maintain non diabetic BG levels on two Metformin other than low carb ? The silence has been deafening !
    avatar
    Paul1976
    Moderator

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Male Posts : 2433
    Join date : 2014-08-12
    Age : 41
    Location : East midlands,UK

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by Paul1976 on Thu Sep 17 2015, 21:24

    Eddie wrote:The Duke was visiting a school for the deaf, the kids were dancing in perfect time to load music from vibrations from the floor. The Duke said Christ no wonder they're all deaf with the volume you're playing that music.

    Ah noooooooo!! muhahaha Only the Duke eh? Twisted Evil
    avatar
    Eddie
    Member

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Male Posts : 3757
    Join date : 2014-08-13
    Age : 67
    Location : London

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by Eddie on Thu Sep 17 2015, 21:34

    1967
    When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union: "I would like to go to Russia very much, although the bastards murdered half my family."
    1969
    The Duke said to Tom Jones after his Royal Variety Performance: "What do you gargle with, pebbles?".
    He later added: "It is very difficult at all to see how it is possible to become immensely valuable by singing what I think are the most hideous songs."
    On the Royal Family's finances: "We go into the red next year. I shall probably have to give up polo."
    1976
    On a tour of Canada: "We don't come here for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves."
    1981
    During the recession he mused: “Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed."
    1984
    When accepting a figurine from a woman during a visit to Kenya he asked: "You are a woman aren't you?"
    1993
    To a British tourist in Hungary in he quipped: "You can't have been here that long — you haven't got a pot belly."
    To survivors of the Lockerbie bombing he told them: "People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still drying out Windsor Castle."
    1994
    "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?", he asked an islander in the Cayman Islands.
    To a Caribbean rabbit breeder in Anguilla, he said: "Don't feed your rabbits pawpaw fruit — it acts as a contraceptive. Then again, it might not work on rabbits."
    1995
    He asked a Scottish driving instructor in Oban: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?"
    1996
    Following the Dunblane massacre, he questioned the need for a firearms ban: "If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?"
    1998
    The Duke asked a British student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea: "You managed not to get eaten then?"
    1999
    In Cardiff he told children from the British Deaf Association, who were standing by a Caribbean steel band: "If you're near that music it's no wonder you're deaf".
    2000
    To guests at the opening reception of a new £18million British Embassy in Berlin: "It's a vast waste of space."
    At a Buckingham Palace drinks party, he told group of female Labour MPs: "Ah, so this is feminist corner then."
    On being offered fine Italian wines by Giuliano Amato, the former Prime Minister, at a dinner in Rome, he is said to have uttered: "Get me a beer. I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!"
    "People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans."
    2001
    To Elton John: "Oh it's you that owns that ghastly car is it? We often see it when driving to Windsor Castle."
    2002
    While touring a factory near Edinburgh he said a fuse box was so crude it "looked as though it had been put in by an Indian".
    2009
    Said to black dance troupe Diversity at the Royal Variety Performance: "Are you all one family?"

    To a young fashion designer at Buckingham Palace he told him: "You didn't design your beard too well, did you? You really must try better with your beard."

    On asking a female Sea Cadet what she did for a living, and being told that she worked in a nightclub (as a barmaid), the Duke asked “Is it a strip club?” Observing her surprise he dismissed the suggestion saying that it was “probably too cold for that anyway”.
    2010
    At a prize-giving ceremony for the Duke of Edinburgh Awards a girl told him that she'd been to Romania to help in an orphanage. He replied: "Oh yes, there's a lot of orphanges in Romania - they must breed them".

    Asked Annabel Goldie, the Scottish Tory leader whether she was wearing tartan knickers when welcoming Benedict XVI to Edinburgh.
    2011
    On approaching his 90th birthday: "Bits are beginning to drop off".
    To the managing director of a wind farm company, the prince said wind turbines were "absolutely useless" and "an absolute disgrace".

    When meeting a 60-year-old disabled man: "How many people have you knocked over this morning on that thing?" David Miller, a trustee of the Valentine Mansion in Redbridge, said he took no offence.

    Others that are undated:

    "YOU have mosquitos. I have the Press."

    - To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean.
    "If it doesn't fart or eat hay then she isn't interested"
    - speaking about his daughter, Princess Anne.

    "Can you tell the difference between them?"

    - The Duke's question after President Barack Obama said he met with the leaders of the UK, China and Russia.

    "The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop the tourism, we could stop the congestion."

    "Well, you'll never fly in it, you're too fat to be an astronaut."
    - to a 13-year-old whilst visiting a space shuttle.

    “You look like you’re ready for bed!”
    - To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes.


    _________________
    Type two diabetic-low carb diet (50 carbs per day) and two 500mg Metformin pills per day. Apart from diagnosis HbA1c almost 12-all HbA1c results none diabetic. For over eight years my diabetes medication has not changed. My weight has remained stable, I have suffered no ill effects from my diet whatsoever. Every blood test has proved, I took the right road to my diabetic salvation. For almost seven years, I have asked medical professionals and naysayers, how do I maintain non diabetic BG levels on two Metformin other than low carb ? The silence has been deafening !
    avatar
    chris c
    Member

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Posts : 3257
    Join date : 2015-07-26

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by chris c on Thu Sep 17 2015, 21:39

    Brilliant!

    At the boat race "I can't see who's in the lead, it's either Oxford or Cambridge"
    avatar
    chris c
    Member

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Posts : 3257
    Join date : 2015-07-26

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by chris c on Wed Sep 23 2015, 19:16

    GAY SEX SPLITS BISHOPS

    and winner of the "most boring headline to be published" competition

    SMALL EARTHQUAKE IN PERU, NOT MANY INJURED
    avatar
    Eddie
    Member

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Male Posts : 3757
    Join date : 2014-08-13
    Age : 67
    Location : London

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by Eddie on Wed Sep 23 2015, 19:31

    "GAY SEX SPLITS BISHOPS"

    Maybe they are too tight arsed to buy a tube of K-Y jelly rofl


    _________________
    Type two diabetic-low carb diet (50 carbs per day) and two 500mg Metformin pills per day. Apart from diagnosis HbA1c almost 12-all HbA1c results none diabetic. For over eight years my diabetes medication has not changed. My weight has remained stable, I have suffered no ill effects from my diet whatsoever. Every blood test has proved, I took the right road to my diabetic salvation. For almost seven years, I have asked medical professionals and naysayers, how do I maintain non diabetic BG levels on two Metformin other than low carb ? The silence has been deafening !
    avatar
    chris c
    Member

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Posts : 3257
    Join date : 2015-07-26

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by chris c on Fri Sep 25 2015, 18:20

    From a a farming programme on TV

    "The secret of a good ley is a firm bottom"
    avatar
    Paul1976
    Moderator

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Male Posts : 2433
    Join date : 2014-08-12
    Age : 41
    Location : East midlands,UK

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by Paul1976 on Fri Sep 25 2015, 18:24

    HaHaHaHa! Twisted Evil Not essential but it helps!


    _________________
    Illegitimi non carborundum

    Squire Fulwood
    Member

    Status :
    Online
    Offline

    Posts : 49
    Join date : 2015-08-06

    Re: This Could Have Been Titled Better

    Post by Squire Fulwood on Sun Sep 27 2015, 08:54

    David Hamilton was doing the link announcing years ago when he said, "And tonight an actor arrives at the Crossroads Motel". He should have gone off air at that time but was heard to say, "And not before time".

      Current date/time is Tue Oct 17 2017, 17:44